<“…suddenly three thieves with cut-lasses (and things of sort)pointed their flash-lights at our vehicle and charged towards us!!.”
I know most of y’all who follow my tweets closely will be expecting the title to be my super-dramatic-star friday but I’d rather give it more glory as only one day between friday and saturday made my whole weekend!.
Here goes, I arrived “Gbagada” on thursday afternoon with the news that we (myself, Fawizo, Raymond and Oti) would be attending a babe’s exclusive champagne bash on the night of Friday. I almost cursed at Fawizo for not informing me earlier, I managed to scuffle out some wears and then asked about proper invitation and stuff of which he told me it was all sorted out.
On the morning of Friday, I had to get my rough hair done and later went to the bank to withdraw some “money-to-blow“. Plans seemed to be going smooth till the evening time when Ayo Lawani son of legendary chef,(maggi and MTN ambassador), Mrs Iyabo Lawani (no be wash at all 😐 ), told me that he just washed the jean jacket I was supposed to wear alongside a lumber jack top that Fawizo also wanted to wear!!, BUMMER!!!!. Do you know the towel-dry and iron technique?? (most people who studied in boarding schools know this), yeah we applied that technique and as always, it worked!! LoL!.
Fawizo called on the chick responsible to take us into the party, and all still seemed intact (BUT) Fawizo’s mom is always a BIG issue!!. You see the plan was to sneak out! (NB: I have never done this before) knowing that Fawaz’s mom will NEVER let her son go out on his own accord so the plan was needed. The plan??, quite simple, she would just return from work, then go to bed, allow her sleep for a while then around 12am, stealthily unlock the doors and we are out. Then we’ll return around 3am, hoping she’s still asleep, lock the doors and pretend as if nothing happened!!. Ol’boy *whew* only if it went that way!!. Night came fast and Fawizo’s mom returned home as usual, she would normally eat before she gets home so when she decided to boil some rice, things seemed a little weird, it was almost dead in the night!, I just kept saying “sabali” to myself which means “patience”. She ate, and instead of going into her room, she sat at the living room till around 5 mins to 1!!!!!!(AM)!!!!!! ThAT Shii Craaayyy!!. At a point I believed she knew of our plans because we sneaked around the house and that was why she was deliberately doing that!. I put off my clothes and gave up until desperate Fawizo got up from his bed, approached mom, greeted her (before this, we’ve been pretending to be asleep), and she explained that she’s treating her injury which was deep :(. After chatting with her for a few, Fawaz had to lead her to her room and within minutes she dozed off. As all this ensued, Oti and Raymond had been calling like crazy coz we kept them waiting and they too thought our little escapade was over!!, not until we showed up at their window banging and urging them to come out!.
With no private car available, we settled for cabs!!, seeing them was easy but finding a driver who was ready to go the distance was one heck of a tough job, we almost lost hope until the last available cab man told us to hop in, on an agreed fee!!.
We raced to the island and just few blocks from “adetokunbo ademola street we ran into the police who didn’t know that all boys in the cab were smart men, even one policeman was like “its a crime to use intl passport for identification” lmfao!!, I’m an undergraduate!!! who are you trying to sell stupid!! :p, the force men decided to settle for bribery knowing they had nothing on us!!. I reluctantly paid 1k sha, just so they don’t tie us down like they did to the foreigners in the other vehicle stopped! (I’m sure they ripped those ones off!).
We arrived at Q-lounge but didn’t go inside as we wanted to get to Dueces first (that’s the location of the bash), we only stopped at Q-lounge because I saw SABA (a pr there) and also wanted to really club there. But Fawaz wanted to meet his babe at Dueces.
Then outside Dueces, we called the babe who invited us but she wasn’t even available!!!, like seriously!???!, we can’t get in without her o!!. To avert any f*ck ups!!, I suggested we ball out and fall into Q-lounge, oh my suggestion was greeted with the warmest reception this time!. We got into Q-lounge, had a couple of drinks, took shots, danced and chilled.
As all these enjoyment went on, I just remembered to check the time (as we were in d middle of a plan i nicked, Operation: Sneak Out!), to my shock, my red G-shock indicated the time to be 4:05 (am)!!, that fast??, well we got to the club around two so that explains the little groove-time.
We got out of the club, I settled some bouncers (so they’ll give me VIP treatment next time lol), got a cab right in front of the club, and quickly headed back to Fawizo’s crib and as we were rolling down one of the roads that connect to the ever popular third mainland bridge, suddenly three thieves with cut-lasses (and things of sort)pointed their flash-lights at our vehicle and charged towards us!!, OMG!! ROBBERS!!!! I shouted, then the cab driver (in a manner similar to that of any of James Bond movies) hit the brakes real hard!, then flipped the automatic transmission gear to (R)everse!, they couldn’t get to the vehicle so they fled!!!. We decided to charge towards that same route in the fastest way ever!!, we didn’t see them again. As all these happened, everyone ducked expecting shots to be fired but the headlights cast a beam on their cut-lasses and stuff so that gave the driver the courage to reverse that quickly!!. We sped past that same route and just ahead was a police van, that had its siren lights on but the policemen inside were fast asleep!!!!. THE NIGERIAN POLICE FORCE!!! haba!!!. Now people go clubbing in lagos not knowing that they may not return with their cars, mobile phones and at worst their lives!!.
We made it home in one piece!! and now we joke about this knowing it could have been more serious. Getting back inside the house was much easier but pre-filled with guesses like, is it possible she’s awake?, maybe she’s waiting for us at the balcony or maybe the sitting room!. But hey, 🙂 mom was still pretty much fast asleep 🙂 and that’s when myself and Fawaz started feeling like very good bad men oo!!!, you know? :D, it aint easy abeg!!, All that drama went down in 3 or 4 hours!!!.
I like to see this as a military mission and this post as our de-brief!! as “Operation: Sneak out!” was accomplished despite glitches!!!
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